Contaminating the relationship with a lie

Audio Transcription

Okay, So what was the what was the first signs of divorce or the divorce was imminent or the breakdown of the relations? 

Well, the breakdown of the relationship is that you are still being honest. I totally agree with that. I mean, seriously, if you stop being honest like you can't say, Hey, listen, um, yeah, I was So I was over. I

 went over there because that's what one thing I wanted to do, where I did this. There's one thing I wanted to do if if it's going to create And in my case, it was it was going to create a problem. We're going to have an argument over and it's like I'd rather not have an argument. So I won't tell you. 

It was something really started off as something really stupid. And I said, Okay, I wont I just will omit the fact that I went over the over here or I did this. Was that that was that in relationship number one? That was for both in both. I think that's the kind of you boil down. The issue is that it's like, you know what? You're not okay with this thing that is part of that is that I realized that I want to do anyway, whether you like it or not. 

Uh, we should be honest. I mean, in a good relationship that shouldn't be an issue. But if your partner has a problem and I start to hide one little, you know and that turned and that turns into and because sometimes in that relationship it's like you don't want to upset the balance. But you don't realize by admitting the truth, or I don't want to cause trouble. Legally, you're completely but by a lot by It's like you're contaminating your relationship with a lie, and that's the thing. 

Once you start doing that and it kind of it kind of idiot. It's like a cancer. It just starts spreading. Exactly. Then it's not so bad to admit what a bigger thing here and it's It's not so bad to omit more. And then before you realize you have this whole hidden life Oh my God, yeah, yeah. Then you start, you admit so much more that in fact, you start tracking kind of like that Law of attraction. You start tracking towards where your energy is going. 

Exactly And then And then it's like, Okay, then, since since you get to be actually all right, wolf. Now, this is kind of deep since you actually, that's why they claim to be your Yes. Since you start to be yourself in that little space, that's who you are. Oh, and then your partner starts. Yeah. Yeah, well, you start liking that whatever is in there yourself, because that's more of your personality. And that's like more than the one you're with. 

Yes, exactly. So that's that's a big distraction. Then you have a separate life, and then you then you're the person you're with. You're like, Okay, you've got something else happening, and then your spouse actually sees your true self. Yes, and it's not part of It's not. It's not. If it's not consistent with what she finds in the value and as far as a relationship, then yes, there goes the breakdown. 

Yeah, it happens slowly over to happen very slowly, but but But that's the key. If you if you can be totally honest, you got a problem. That's not a good relationship. Yes, I believe that's true. That's in fact, if I think back to my relationships, even dating. Well, even dating this. Just completely honest, trying to spare people's feelings. That's what really got me into trouble. It's like contaminating a relationship. And I can, I can say from from seeing your Yeah, it was Yeah, you've been around. It was it was.